Finally, she's gone...

Yes, I need to face the harsh reality. My friend is gone and now that I have cried enough, I pray for their happy days ahead. I had a heavy heart since days and today and poured it all. I was so hurt, I couldn't believe it was time for her to bid us farewell and go with her husband. We have lived our childhood together, and it's hard to believe that those are all mere memories now. Time is really cruel!!!

I vividly remember those days when we used to go wherever we wanted once we got the cycle. We loved cycling and we had one on each family meant for us 'kids'. Bijayanti and I used to race and nobody would be the clear winner. Nobody wanted to be. Those days were fun... all is over now. I have to accept that we have grown up now, that I have grown up now.

When the groom's family took her away, I was like "God, this is true. Biji is really been taken away? I am not dreaming..." and tears found their way out. I seldom cry coz I am a real stoic but then today tears had become involuntary. We used to play "marriage" and today, she lived marriage. It's so hard to bear the fact.

The photo I have posted above, in which both of us are smiling heartily, was taken on her engagement day. I couldn't upoad today's photos because they portray sadness and I wouldn't want to see that again.

I am happy to learn that bhinaju is a real jolly person and will keep our Biji smiling... :-)

Back here, we will always remember her, for everything we have done till date, together!!!

Lastly, for the most wonderful couple of the land, may their life ahead be happy and grand.

Biji, we will miss you a lot. We love you and will always always be there for you. You mean a lot for all of us.

please sleep, come to me!!

It's already 8 minutes past midnight and I am still in front of my computer reading Othello and commentaries. really it seems I have overcome the fear of midnight spirits...ghosts...See, poo is a mature girl now.

I peeped outside the window and what I see is utter darkness... everybody is fast asleep... what if I jump out of the window and run away, not letting anyone know about my whereabouts? Can't imagine yaar... God, I can't do it. I live in the third storey... can't dare to jump...

I just can't sleep... the temperature is too high already and mosquitoes have started getting on my nerves. Thank God, my sister Geeta has arranged a mosquito net already... look at her, she is fast asleep... I wish I could sleep soon. I have to go to work tomorrow... it's already 16 mins past midnight. Aren't I tired?? I am tired of telling myself "poo, comeon you are tired... you got to sleep".............. may be I seriously need sleeping pills...

And a funny incident happened today... I have this habit of saving phone numbers with nick names such as Idiot, Dadmis, Dinwag, Sathi, et cetera in my cell phone. And today when I left my cell for a while, my friends bluffed all those seemingly bizzare-named contacts and in return, I had to face them all. I have changed all the names already!!!

Now, no matter I am feeling sleepy or not, I have to get to bed... a little recitation of my favourite sloks from Ramayana and I will reach the utopian land... Good Night!!

I will decide for myself...

Today's day will remain forever in my memory and I will immortalise it through my blog..

When I passed SLC with distinction marks, also the highest from my batch in school and I told everyone that I wanted to study literature, arts, they told me "Are you out of your mind? You are an intelligent girl... you have to study science, you will get scholarships..." Comeon, I was not interested... I took my own decision and now I am happy I sticked to it.

Today, a near by auntie asked me, "now that your friend is getting married this Saturday, when is your plan? Anytime soon???"

I replied her instantly with a strategic answer that I had read some days ago in a magazine... I told her, "Yeah, you will get the good news soon. You know I am a lesbian, I am waiting until homosexual marriages will be legalised in Nepal"... She was gaping for long... hehehehehe!!!

People seem to be unnecessarily concerned... let them be... when time comes, nobody will have to tell me, I already have a choice and will stick to it...and then I will be very happy...By God, I am only 20... and there's lot more to go...I got to learn so many things... at least until I complete my Bachelor's... Sometimes, I feel, getting married would be nice, but I am not fully prepared...?? Besides, I have doubts that I will make a good wife, a good daughter and sister-in-law!!

When time comes, I will not stop myself. For now, I have other stuffs to work my mind on...

PS: I am not a Lesbian though!!

My childhood pal gets engaged...

Finally, the day has come... she has to now leave us behind and weave dreams of her future with her fiancee. Yesterday, my childhood pal got engaged with her boyfriend whom she had fallen in love some 3 years ago. It's nice to realise at least some love stories are actually ending in marriage... though marriage is not just the only success-certificate of a love story, but comeon, let's be real, this is NEPAL...

Anyway, she also happens to be my neighbour, and the fact that brings us closer is that my parents were once their tenant. And my mom says, she has learnt more about life and every other little things from my pal's grandmom. Unfortunately, I don't remember anything of her... and she is no more. We have grown up together... wearing similar frocks, reading similar books, gettting punishments from our parents, who also are good friends, believing on the same sets of taboos imposed by our parents, playing the same sort of games, and doing every little things together... now that she has to leave us behind, I am really disheartened. But I want her to be happy, very very happy.

There are actually six of us, the inseparable six of us. The list goes like this... first my sister Geeta, then the one who got engaged, Bijayanti, third it's me, then it's Malati, Bijayanti's sister, fifth comes B & M's bro Suraj and then the youngest of all, G and my bro Suman. We have done everything together... schooling, riding bicycle, playing bhada-kuti, teasing old neighbours... every little thing that naughty children do... and the memories still vividly comes to our minds even today.

Only a week ago, I and Geeta were there at Bijayanti's place and we were talking about marriage and stuffs. She is in 11 now, so she was telling us that she would get married only after completing 12. But then it happened so fast... we all are shocked and happy and sad and excited and anxious... all at the same time. We don't want her to leave all of a sudden, and paradoxically, we also want her to start a happy life with her beloved.

Quite nicely, their's is an intercaste marriage. Our would be bhena is a Chetri and my friend is a Magar. And the most interesting thing is that the Chetri family is strictly VEGETARIANS... gosh... Biji has to control her temptation to eat some non-veg item once in a while... I am sure she will prove to be a very good wife and even better, a daughter and sister-in-law. She is already quite a perfectionist in household chores. So is my elder sister. Now when it's turn for me and Malati, our parents need to really think more than many times. That's going to give them a good headache, coz we neither know how to cook good, nor we know any etiquettes necessary to make others happy. We are the pampered and spoiled 'kanchhi chhoris'. Now that the turn will come in the near future, Malati and I need to be prepared to face the IMPOSSIBLE. I wish mom and Geeta were always there with me, to help me in everything I do. Oh, I am useless... I don't even know how to comb my hair. anyway, back to where I was... (I will write what i can and cannot do soon...)

Today, I had been there for a while and uncle was telling Biji to respect all, to speak politely, to do this and that... as everybody's father must say... you know..the final words... they were touching... the otherwise jolly and cheerful uncle today had a different emotion on his face. I was so sad.

She is getting married coming Saturday.......... will write about it soon.. with photos... promise!!

About mom...

You know, I should not have written this, but still the truth is that I have grown up hating my mom for being so strict with us. She would never smile that friendly smile at us and we were always scared upon her slightest stare. The three of us- my elder sister, myself and my younger brother were always jailed at home when my parents had to go and work to feed us. I didn't understand it then but I am matured now, and I have started understanding things as they are.

I know I love my mom very much despite every bitter moments I have had with her in the past. i was the one to get most of the beatings from her as a child. As she loves to put in "I was a difficult child, a stubborn one"... and for some reasons, I still am. But then there is a strange bonding between us which has always held us together. Even when I was small, I used to wish that mom went away for some days so that I could have peace of mind and may be God listened to me, and mom went to Dolakha along with her sister's family leaving us behind with dad. And all day I used to play with all my heart forgetting all about mom and when it was evening, I just stood on my window and stared outside remembering mom and wishing she came soon. I also remember that then, when mom was away, dad had a very tough time getting us ready for school. He had combed my hair then, and now I wonder how I would look on that dad-styled-hair. Anyway, it was a funny stuff.

Believe me, I couldn't do my own hair even until I was in Grade 10... either mom or my elder sister had to do it. And I had a tough time making sure that I was at least in good terms with the one of them, otherwise my messy hair would subject me to punishment at school, and in our school, all girls had to make two plaits out of their hair... silly, nonsense rule. I cursed everyone who imposed that on us. And you know, I didn't even know how to tie shoe-laces. By God, I was one of a kind. Even today, I can't do anything out of my hair except arranging a big pony-tail. That's simple and comfortable too...

And yeah, I was talking about my mom. When we were small, we used to listen to mom... now that we know a little bit, we want our mom to listen to us... we feel we know much better than they do... may be true in many cases but I think that by having this conception in our minds, that we know better than our moms, we are in a way, dominating them... and is this good?

On 3 April, I was fortunate enough to attend a discussion programme on the woes of single mothers, and actually mothers from different backgrounds for a section of our magazine called 'My Cup of Tea'. I was there as a reporter and I was too emotional hearing what they had to say. There was an HIV infected mother, whose son is also infected, a mother who had been using drugs until her son was 6, a mother whose husband is out of the country working, a mother who has lost her husband and so on. Everyone had a different story to tell, but the jist of the matter was the sincerity with which they loved their children. This made me realise that I had a mom too, one whom I always took for granted, one whom I never thought could have so much of feelings toward me. I remembered my mom very much, perhaps she would also speak her heart out had she been invited there as a guest.

I know she has to go through many hurdles of life before reaching this height. I wouldn't have dared if I were to start from the level my mom stood up. I am happy that my parents have done these many things for us and that still we forget to be grateful toward them. Saying 'thank you' to a parent would seem to be very formal, but most of us have not even felt thankful to them for making us what we are. I love myself the most and I wouldn't have me if it were not for my parents, more of my mom.

I love my mom so much so that I can't even think of being away from her. She is my best friend and I adore her. There are more than many things about her that annoy me but then, it's all part of the game. I love her so I can point out the flaws in her,

This mother's day, I am gonna make my mom a really happy woman.

I promise.

Long boring days...

Oh God!! The most horrible thing in life is to have NOTHING to do. I have a week-long holiday thanks to the elections and the coming new year. I have plainly nothing to do and here are these dreadful days... I can't even watch TV coz there's nothing interesting. I have lost interest in reading novels although I have a nice collection of some, and I don't want to do anything else. I can't even sleep. What shall I do?
I just wish the day ended soon.

Floriculture Exhibition-2008!!!

The Floriculture Exhibition 2008 concluded last Sunday. It was a five-day long display of various flowering and non-flowering plants and products related to plants. There were altogether 62 different wonderful stalls. Various nurseries participated in the exhibition. This time around people were able to witness stalls by nurseries from as far as Illam district also.

The plants in the exhibition were also on sale and their price ranged from ten rupees to one lakh rupees.

As my dad also owns a nursery, I was more concerned about the exhibition, more as a participant than as a visitor. Everyone appreciated our stall a lot and my dad also bagged the "BEST STALL" award. Great for him and all of our nursery family. By the way, our nursery's name is New Sun Flower Nursery and it is located in Sankhamool, near the Bagmati bridge.

You can see the stall that my dad made with the help of my sister and my friend. Actually it was my sister Geeta and friend Suman who came up with the idea of making a big YinYang for decorating the stall... their idea ROCKED!!! Actually, the design doesn't look exactly like a Yinyang, you can see that it's highly inspired from that...

The business wasn't that good because many people have already headed home for the elections and on top of it, the monsoon was also a big barrier. Anyway, we got a good amount of appreciation and promotion.