I returned home after a stressful day at work, thinking what I should I do to freshen up my dull mind. I was more than relieved to find Somesh (name changed), my favourite cousin, at home. Seeing him happily sit on the sofa of our living room, my mood lightened. Somehow it struck to me that something really ‘happy’ was in store for me!
“Oho, how come you are here today?” I teasingly greeted him. He just gave a sheepish smile and continued ‘playing’ with his mobile phone, as almost always. I then seated myself beside him, blankly gazing at his mobile screen. It was a message he had been deeply engrossed with. Unlike what I had predicted, he wouldn’t shy away and cover the screen. In fact, he seemed to be willing to share the message with me. I decided within a matter of seconds that it must be some not-so-personal sms, a clean joke or just a beautiful greeting. When I took his cell to read the message carefully, I was stunned to find in it deep, ‘genuine’ feelings of some girl… Agl– it was how he had saved her name.
“I cudn’t receive ur cal as I was in living room. Am fine n u? plz narisau la. I love u. sleep well. I don’t hav other bf. U r the only 1. tc”
“Angel Thapa (name changed) – her full name” – he told me later.
Of course, I am not that stupid not to infer that something was certainly cooking between the two of them… the kind of look in Somesh’s eyes, the restlessness with which he was waiting for her reply, the way he tried to portray himself as a ‘grown-up’ (he is 14), the ‘hidden’ meanings that lied in her smses, his shy smile, his ‘doubtful’ confidence regarding Angel’s feelings for him, his curiosity about my love life, his logic concerning why the age factor didn’t matter in love, his ‘love-ly’ feelings… Overall, his different ‘self’… He wasn’t the same Somesh with whom I used to share cheats of different computer games. He wasn’t the Somesh who used to talk to me about books, exams and results. He wasn’t the Somesh who used to discuss with me different ways to write an essay. He wasn’t the Somesh who asked me how to get an article published in Kantipur. No, he wasn’t the same.
I was SHOCKED!
“Have I gone crazy? I am not reading what I am reading!” I told to myself. I read the same sms again and again. When I couldn’t really figure out what was going on, I signalled a “Do you know about it? Is it true?” to Suman and he just gave me a doubtful nod. I turned to Somesh and asked him if he could clarify me. He just said that whatever was in the sms was true. As mom and dad were there, I couldn’t further ‘interrogate’ him. I hated to remain in confusion but I had no choice but keep on pondering about what it all might be.
I was smiling at myself imagining weird weird things. All of a sudden I had a feeling that the time is spinning rather too fast, and I was unable to keep up with it. It feels just like yesterday that I first greeted him with the awww-he’s-so-cute expression at the hospital he was born, and now he’s got his girlfriend! How fast is that?
But, while the advancement of the life of my cousin shocked me, it also helped me realise my own state of being. The small episode of that ‘sms’ instilled in me the feelings, the emotions, the passion, the romance, the understanding that had been missing in me since a couple of months. For some reasons, I was bored of my life; I had started taking things for granted. I had actually become reckless… reckless regarding my relationship with family, friends, Sooman, my career, my books, my blog… everything. My family and specially Sooman tried to pull me back to ‘myself’, but I thought they were just being possessive. That they were trying to interfere … that they were just being unreasonable; that they didn’t understand me… blablabla… While my 'little' brother was trying his best to nurture his relationships with people, I was pulling myself away from them all. Perhaps I was so confident about them being with me all my life that I didn't make any effort to take them to new heights or maintain the same smoothness! I hope Somesh and Angel will keep up with their efforts to be together always... my wishes to them. :)
Rereading that sms, I don’t find anything so special in it. But that particular time, it hit me right at my heart, and made me promise to myself that I shall always stay close to my loved ones, never take them for granted, never consciously hurt them and never mistake them. I don’t know how much that sms mean to Somesh; for me it means ‘renaissance’.
“Oho, how come you are here today?” I teasingly greeted him. He just gave a sheepish smile and continued ‘playing’ with his mobile phone, as almost always. I then seated myself beside him, blankly gazing at his mobile screen. It was a message he had been deeply engrossed with. Unlike what I had predicted, he wouldn’t shy away and cover the screen. In fact, he seemed to be willing to share the message with me. I decided within a matter of seconds that it must be some not-so-personal sms, a clean joke or just a beautiful greeting. When I took his cell to read the message carefully, I was stunned to find in it deep, ‘genuine’ feelings of some girl… Agl– it was how he had saved her name.
“I cudn’t receive ur cal as I was in living room. Am fine n u? plz narisau la. I love u. sleep well. I don’t hav other bf. U r the only 1. tc”
“Angel Thapa (name changed) – her full name” – he told me later.
Of course, I am not that stupid not to infer that something was certainly cooking between the two of them… the kind of look in Somesh’s eyes, the restlessness with which he was waiting for her reply, the way he tried to portray himself as a ‘grown-up’ (he is 14), the ‘hidden’ meanings that lied in her smses, his shy smile, his ‘doubtful’ confidence regarding Angel’s feelings for him, his curiosity about my love life, his logic concerning why the age factor didn’t matter in love, his ‘love-ly’ feelings… Overall, his different ‘self’… He wasn’t the same Somesh with whom I used to share cheats of different computer games. He wasn’t the Somesh who used to talk to me about books, exams and results. He wasn’t the Somesh who used to discuss with me different ways to write an essay. He wasn’t the Somesh who asked me how to get an article published in Kantipur. No, he wasn’t the same.
I was SHOCKED!
“Have I gone crazy? I am not reading what I am reading!” I told to myself. I read the same sms again and again. When I couldn’t really figure out what was going on, I signalled a “Do you know about it? Is it true?” to Suman and he just gave me a doubtful nod. I turned to Somesh and asked him if he could clarify me. He just said that whatever was in the sms was true. As mom and dad were there, I couldn’t further ‘interrogate’ him. I hated to remain in confusion but I had no choice but keep on pondering about what it all might be.
I was smiling at myself imagining weird weird things. All of a sudden I had a feeling that the time is spinning rather too fast, and I was unable to keep up with it. It feels just like yesterday that I first greeted him with the awww-he’s-so-cute expression at the hospital he was born, and now he’s got his girlfriend! How fast is that?
But, while the advancement of the life of my cousin shocked me, it also helped me realise my own state of being. The small episode of that ‘sms’ instilled in me the feelings, the emotions, the passion, the romance, the understanding that had been missing in me since a couple of months. For some reasons, I was bored of my life; I had started taking things for granted. I had actually become reckless… reckless regarding my relationship with family, friends, Sooman, my career, my books, my blog… everything. My family and specially Sooman tried to pull me back to ‘myself’, but I thought they were just being possessive. That they were trying to interfere … that they were just being unreasonable; that they didn’t understand me… blablabla… While my 'little' brother was trying his best to nurture his relationships with people, I was pulling myself away from them all. Perhaps I was so confident about them being with me all my life that I didn't make any effort to take them to new heights or maintain the same smoothness! I hope Somesh and Angel will keep up with their efforts to be together always... my wishes to them. :)
Rereading that sms, I don’t find anything so special in it. But that particular time, it hit me right at my heart, and made me promise to myself that I shall always stay close to my loved ones, never take them for granted, never consciously hurt them and never mistake them. I don’t know how much that sms mean to Somesh; for me it means ‘renaissance’.
3 comments:
The last lines of self realization is really great poo....and I loved he epiphanic moment u felt...after reading the SMS....
Truly, sometimes I even faced situation like yours..
Nice to read u... :)
Hi Sweti... it's always so so so nice to get a feedback from you... Thanks for reading and sparing time to make a comments, as always. Thanks a ton my dear friend. I wish I could blog more often!
Till next, love and regards! :)
Poo, its really great to see your post again. I agree that we don't find it pleasant when people try to drag us to ourselves but such simple things make us realize that we're deviating.
The best part is you are back blogging.
:)
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